Joe Bob Briggs Quotes

 

There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.

 

The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.

 

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

It’s not a crime to get drunk.

 

In some European theaters, it’s still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions.

 

In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us.

I AM a male chauvinist. Who’s been saying otherwise?

Faith is like a kernel of wheat.

Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.

Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.

 

Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else’s.

 

Almost every venerable tradition at a men’s club starts out as a joke.

 

A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.