Dave Barry Quotes

• We don’t shoot somebody soon, I’m gonna forget how.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Funny

• Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Funny

  Tags in Writing

• You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Young

• What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Person

• What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Death

  Tags in Immaturity

• We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Country

  Tags in Better

• We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Point, Objective

• We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Days

• We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Believe, Company

• Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Television

• To better understand why you need a personal computer, let’s take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Better

• To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Life

  Tags in Better

• Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in System

• There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Fashion, Dictionary

• The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in World, Science

• The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Idiot

• The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Ultimate, Trip, Camping

• The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Historical

• The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Real, Threat

• The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

  Dave Barry

  Topics in Religion

  Tags in Writing

Dave Barry (86)

Birth:	3rd July, 1947
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Columnist, Humorist, Novelist, Writer

About

David McAlister "Dave" Barry was born in Armonk, New York. He is a Pulitzer Prize-winning American columnist, novelist, humorist and writer, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for The Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels. He began his journalism career in 1971, working as a general assignment reporter for the Daily Local News in West Chester, Pennsylvania, near his alma mater, Haverford College. He earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Haverford College in 1969. Barry's first novel, Big Trouble, was published in 1999.

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Today's Anniversary - 23rd May

Births

• 1949 - Alan Garcia Perez
• 1954 - Marvin Hagler
• 1810 - Margaret Fuller
• 1934 - Robert Moog
• 1947 - Paul Gruchow

Deaths

• 1995 - Owen Hart
• 2006 - Lloyd Bentsen
• 1868 - Kit Carson
• 1886 - Leopold Von Ranke
• 1701 - William Kidd