Kathy Griffin Quotes

When I’m going to see a comedian, I don’t want to see them hold back, and when I’m reading a book, I don’t want to hear an abridged version.

Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they’re going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they’re pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it’s a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can’t seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it’s my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.