Jay Mohr Quotes

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

True Yankees are born, not made.

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

If it doesn’t know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.

I wasn’t the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn’t shut up.

I think I made a mistake once… yeah… it was only once.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a s*xual harassment suit, more frustrating.

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.

I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.