Fran Lebowitz Quotes

War is, undoubtedly, hell, but there is no earthly reason why it has to start so early in the morning.

Being offended is the natural consequence of leaving one’s home.

If you’re going to America, bring your own food.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter.

Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.

Salad is not a meal. It is a style.

It is by this painstaking method of careful examination and eventual rejection that we reach a conclusion: life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.

Sleep is death without the responsibility.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.