Arthur Smith Quotes

On paper, England are a good cricket team.The trouble is they play on grass.

When they meet a stand-up comic, people sometimes remark: ‘That must be the hardest job in the world.’ Among comedians, only Freddie Starr is not embarrassed and slightly appalled by this remark.

When I was eight or nine, I wrote a new version of ‘Peter Pan’ for the school play. They didn’t use it – I imagine it was unperformable – but as recompense for not doing my script, I was offered any role, and instinctively went for Captain Hook. I came on trying to be terrifying, but everyone laughed at me.

When a writer dies you get a higher standard of obituary.

Theatricals can be irritating, but will provide a better night out than mobile phone salespeople.

The Romantic poets were the prototype ramblers, and I’ve often found myself following in their footsteps – although perhaps not all of their footsteps since a typical walk for Samuel T. Coleridge might last two days and cover 145km.