Michael Ian Black Quotes

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don’t ignore that critic but don’t give it more attention than it deserves.

Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill.

Whenever anyone asks me if I’m from a TV show, I say yes – no matter whether I’ve ever been on it. It just makes the conversation that much easier.

Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.

There’s this misconception that comedy and music go together. They don’t. Comedians can’t compete with rock stars; they’re just not on the same level. Rock stars will always be cooler. They will always get more girls.

There is no word for feeling nostalgic about the future, but that’s what a parent’s tears often are, a nostalgia for something that has not yet occurred. They are the pain of hope, the helplessness of hope, and finally, the surrender to hope.