Samantha Bee Quotes

My apartment is the equivalent of one room in my Toronto home. Now I understand why New Yorkers are on the streets at all hours. People don’t want to stay inside for fear they’ll go crazy.

It is so expensive to take care of my hair and keep it looking like I was born with it, when my real hair is the color of rat fur.

If I could live in New York the rest of my life, I absolutely would, but it’s also prohibitively expensive and you have to be working. New York is a lot nicer when you have a job.

I’m shy, but I’m not clinically shy. I don’t have social anxiety disorder or anything like that. I more have a gentle shyness. Like, I have a little trouble mingling at parties.

I’m capable of living in the moment. And I’m especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people’s moments.

I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children’s birthdays too.