Tim Allen Quotes

To infinity and beyond!

When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.

The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.

The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.

Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

In the last three years of racing I’ve met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it’s the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn’t have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best.

In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.

In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.

I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.

I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.

I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.

I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?

I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?

I do a lot of family shows.

You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.