Quentin Crisp Quotes

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendly—and the system is brutal!

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last instalment missing.

I became one of the stately homos of England.

There was no need to do any housework after all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.

If one is not going to take the necessary precautions to avoid having parents, one must undertake to bring them up.

I don’t hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are turned.

This woman did not fly to extremes, she lived there.

As soon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake…but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.