Kinky Friedman Quotes

I admit I was drinking a Guinness… but I did not swallow.

Young people are the key to this election.

You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

Yes, I’m a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and… both of them were independents, by the way.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

When I’m governor… I’ll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

We’ve had to be creative to get on the ballot.

We’ve got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

We’re first on executions. We’re 49th in funding public education. We’re in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we’re winning.

We were a country band with a social conscience.

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That’s very important in my life.

The folks in Mississippi are saying, ‘Thank God for Texas.

The first thing I’ll do if elected is demand a recount.

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.