Hilaire Belloc Quotes

Statistics are the triumph of the quantitative method, and the quantitative method is the victory of sterility and death.

I am a sundial, and I make a botch Of what is done much better by a watch.

And even now, at twenty-five, He has to WORK to keep alive! Yes! All day long from10 till 4! For half the year or even more; With but an hour or two to spend At luncheon with a city friend.

Do you remember an Inn, Miranda? Do you remember an Inn, And the ted ding and the spreading Of the straw for a bedding, And the fleas that tease in the High Pyrenees And the wine that tasted of the tar ?

Every where the sea is a teacher of truth. I am not sure that the best thing I find in sailing is not this salt of reality.

When I am living in the Midlands That are sodden and unkind.

I said to Heart, ‘How goes it ?’Heart replied: ‘Right as a Rib stone Pippin!’ But it lied.

Her funeral sermon (which was long And followed by a sacred song) Mentioned her virtues, it is true, But dwelt upon her vices too.

She was not really bad at heart, But only rather rude and wild; She was an aggravating child.

Matilda told such Dreadful Lies, It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes; Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth, Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth, Attempted to Believe Matilda: The effort very nearly killed her.

We had intended you to be The next Prime Minister but three: The stocks were sold; the Press was squared; The Middle Class was quite prepared. But as it is!… My language fails! Go out and govern New South Wales!

And always keep a hold of Nurse For fear of finding something worse.

‘Oh, my friends, be warned by me, That breakfast, dinner, lunch, and tea Are all the human frame requires…’  With that the wretched child expires.

Physicians of the utmost fame Were called at once, but when they came They answered, as they took their fees, ‘There is no cure for this disease.’

The chief defect of Henry King Was chewing little bits of string.

I am a Catholic. As far as possible I go to Mass every day. As far as possible I kneel down and tell these beads every day. If you reject me on account of my religion, I shall thank God that he has spared me the indignity of being your representative.

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim Gun, and they have not.

The Microbe is so very small You cannot make him out at all.

Mothers of large families (who claim to common sense) Will find a Tiger will repay the trouble and expense.

I shoot the Hippopotamus With bullets made of platinum, Because if I use the leaden ones His hide is sure to flatten ’em.