Fred Allen Quotes

• All I know about humour is that I don’t know anything about it.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Humour

• A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Organization

• A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Fame

• California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Funny

  Tags in Happen, Place

• An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Business

  Tags in Advertising, Confusion

• The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Advertising, President

• Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Technology

  Tags in Television, Medium

• My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Father

  Tags in Dad, Except

• A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Decide, Nothing

• A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Celebrity, Person

• A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in People, Conference, Decide

• A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Committee, Appointed

• A gentleman is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Gentleman, Woman

• An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Income, Like

• A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Better, Good

• An actor’s popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Success

  Tags in Popularity, Expectancy

• An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Producer, Associate

• Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Talent, Long

• California is a great place to live if you’re an orange.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Great, Live

• During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

  Fred Allen

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Enjoying, Small

Fred Allen (51)

Birth:	31st May, 1894
Death:	17th March, 1956
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Comedian

About

John Florence Sullivan, known professionally as Fred Allen was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA. He was an American comedian whose absurdist, topically-pointed radio program The Fred Allen Show made him one of the most popular and forward-looking humorists in the Golden Age of American radio. He was honored with stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for contributions to television and radio.

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Today's Anniversary - 29th October

Births

• 1897 - Joseph Goebbels
• 1740 - Portrait of James Boswell
• 1837 - Abraham Kuyper
• 1946 - Peter Green
• 1899 - Kate Seredy

Deaths

• 1995 - Terry Southern
• 2006 - Nigel Kneale
• 1618 - Sir Walter Raleigh
• 1911 - Joseph Pulitzer
• 1953 - William Kapell