Dick Gregory Quotes

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.

When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.

When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

Now here’s what I’m saying: I’ve always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that’s the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I’m saying this. I don’t believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can’t find out what’s going on.

My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.

It’s cool to be healthy.

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’

I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’

I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I’m looking for the crack in the fabric.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free’?

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.