Bill Bryson Quotes

According to an opinion poll, 13 per cent of women in the United States cannot say whether they wear their tights under their knickers or over them. That’s something like a million women walking around in a state of chronic foundation garment uncertainty.

In the first three months of this year the US edition of Time did not have a single report from France, Italy, Spain or Japan, to name just a few of the countries that seem to have escaped its notice.

He was the only person in American history for whom attaining the White House was a bad career move.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. In fact, a moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

I have a small tattered clipping that I sometimes carry with me and pull out for purposes of private amusement. It’s a weather forecast from the Western Daily Mail and it says, in toto: ‘Outlook: Dry and warm, but cooler with some rain.’

It sometimes occurs to me that the British have more heritage than is good for them.

There are three things you just can’t do in life. You can’t beat the phone company, you can’t make a waiter see you until he’s ready to see you, and you can’t go home again.

My mother only ever said two things. She said, ‘I don’t know, dear.’ And she said, ‘Can I get you a sandwich, honey?’