Alexei Sayle Quotes

A lot of those comics can’t hold down relationships and they’ve got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them can’t even talk. All they can do is tell gags.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say ‘elevator’, we say ‘lift’… they say ‘President’, we say ‘stupid psychopathic git.

I’ve accentuated the look over the years. As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.

But as in all cults, what’s central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you’re very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.

Despite its flaws, Marxism still seems to explain the material world better than anything else.

Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like “”Brothers in Arms”” and immediately you know they’re a stupid annoying git.

Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.

First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting – you want to tell people something they don’t know about.

Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious – it’s like it’s got a mind of its own.

However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don’t have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven’t done.

I always thought communism was crap, really.

 I am quite girly.

I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I’ve been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.

I don’t think I’d ever get thin, but I don’t see why I should necessarily think that I couldn’t… You can’t live your life for your routines.

I don’t think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.

I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I’m down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut.

I feel really ambiguous about the psychology of people trying to do good in the world.

I feel sorry for many politicians… we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we’re not.

I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn’t work in the summer though. I don’t have the right clothes.