If you believe nothing else I say, you need to believe that every word I tell you from this point on is a complete lie.
Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it.
A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.- Bill Cosby
The Iban, when they decide that something is really funny, and know that they are going to...- Redmond O'Hanlon
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.- Wendell Johnson
Jazz is the folk music of the machine age.- Paul Whiteman
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.- Peter Ustinov
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