Stephen Leacock Quotes

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

I have a suspicion it’s inevitable, but give me my stick. I’ll face it.

I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, ‘out’, and meritus, ‘so he ought to be’.

The general idea, of course, in any first-class laundry, is to see that no shirt or collar ever comes back twice.

A decision of the courts decided that the game of golf may be played on a Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: ‘Willie is no good; I’ll sell him.’