Alan Whitney Brown Quotes

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

Waterboarding — that’s what America does to its prisoners now. Dunking them in water until they confess. Of course, you have to remember — we uncovered a lot of witches that way. So, credit where credit is due.

My Grandmother told me that there was a passage in the bible that says, “It is better to spill your seed in the belly of a whore, than to spill it on the ground.” So, I tried both. And the bible’s right! It’s way better. That’s one of the reasons they call it the good book.

There are a billion people in China. It’s not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you’re a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.