Michael Ian Black Quotes

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don’t ignore that critic but don’t give it more attention than it deserves.

Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill.

Whenever anyone asks me if I’m from a TV show, I say yes – no matter whether I’ve ever been on it. It just makes the conversation that much easier.

Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.

There’s this misconception that comedy and music go together. They don’t. Comedians can’t compete with rock stars; they’re just not on the same level. Rock stars will always be cooler. They will always get more girls.

The thing that I think is the most important is taking moments to express your appreciation to your partner. A thank you or a quick kiss can go a long way toward affirming your relationship and commitment to each other. That’s not hard to do even when you’re juggling insane careers and three kids.