Paul O'Grady Quotes

Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn’t stop me being adventurous.

I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we’d hum the Popeye tune and then I’d happily eat it.

I don’t live with people, that’s why my relationships last. I’m not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I’d say, – no, it’s not heavy, I can hold it myself, thank you’.

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I’d rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney’s barber shop.

I enjoyed school – although I ran away on the first day. I’d reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for ‘Watch With Mother’ on TV.

Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood.