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Today's Anniversary - 20th May

Births

• 1978 - Sasha Azevedo
• 1972 - Busta Rhymes Jr.
• 1951 - Michael Crapo
• 1915 - Moshe Dayan
• 1945 - Wally Herger

Deaths

• 1986 - Helen B. Taussig
• 1831 - Henri Gregoire
• 2005 - Paul Ricoeur
• 1956 - Max Beerbohm
• 1977 - Lewis Blaine Hershey

• The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.

  John Updike

  Topics in Humor

• If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.

  Winston Churchill

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Favorable, Common

• When the gap between the rich and the poor is so huge that you can’t help pointing it out – that’s when you risk being labeled a pervert.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Humor, Love

• Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.

  Ellen Goodman

  Topics in Humor, Life, Truth

  Tags in Paying, Empty

• My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here.

  James Maury Henson

  Topics in Humor, Inspirational, Life

• Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

  W. C. Fields

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Betting, Keeps

• I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Topics in Humor, Politics

• Every relationship is a tug of war, and I hope the scaffold wins.

  Bauvard

  Topics in Funny, Humor

  Tags in Relationship

• Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.

  Mark Twain

  Topics in God, Humor, Work

• If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

  Oscar Wilde

  Topics in Humor

• I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

  Harry S. Truman

  Topics in Humor, Truth

• I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.

  Harry S. Truman

  Topics in Honesty, Humor, Truth

  Tags in Hell

• Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can.

  Jarod Kintz

  Topics in Funny, Humor, Love

• We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you’re the rule, not the exception. It’s liberating. But we also know it’s not an easy concept. -He’s not just into you

  Topics in Humor, Life, Love

  Tags in Expectation

• We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you’re the rule, not the exception. It’s liberating. But we also know it’s not an easy concept. -He’s not just into you

  Greg Behrendt

  Topics in Humor, Life, Love

  Tags in Teachers and teaching

• A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Police

• Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

  Groucho Marx

  Topics in Humor

• It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I’m right.

  Moliere

  Topics in Humor

• Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say No when they mean Yes, and drive a man out of his wits for the fun of it.

  Louisa May Alcott

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Girls

• I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.

  Ron Dee White

  Topics in Ability, Humor

  Tags in Silent