S.J. Perelman Quotes

The dogs had eaten the upholstery of a Packard convertible that afternoon, and were consequently somewhat subdued.

You’ve got a sharp tongue in your head, Mr Essick. Look out it doesn’t cut your throat.

For years I have let dentists ride roughshod over my teeth; I have been sawed, hacked, chopped, whittled, bewitched, bewildered, tattooed, and signed on again; but this is cuspid’s last stand.

She had the rippling muscles of a panther, the solidity of a water buffalo, and the lazy insolence of a shoe salesman.

I guess I’m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atomsmashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation’s laws.