Lenny Bruce Quotes

Lenny Bruce (19)

Birth:	13th October, 1925
Death:	3rd August, 1966
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Comedian, Critic

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• Andy Dick
• Peter Edward Cook
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• Samantha Bee
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• Will Friedle
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Today's Anniversary - 20th June

Births

• 1936 - Michael Gerber
• 1786 - Marceline Desbordes Valmore
• 1940 - John Mahoney
• 1909 - Errol Flynn
• 1915 - Terence Young

Deaths

• 1991 - Gerald Priestland
• 1984 - Estelle Winwood
• 1977 - Fairfax M. Cone
• 2005 - Jack Kilby
• 1999 - Clifton Fadiman

• The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it… try to fake three laughs in an hour – ha ha ha ha ha – they’ll take you away, man. You can’t.

  Lenny Bruce

  Topics in Art

• Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

  Lenny Bruce

  Topics in God, Religion

• There are never enough I Love You’s.

  Lenny Bruce

  Topics in Humor
• 

  Communism is like one big phone company.

  Lenny Bruce

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Company, Communism

• When you’re eight years old nothing is your business.

  Lenny Bruce

• The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

  Lenny Bruce

• The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

  Lenny Bruce

• The liberals can understand everything but people who don’t understand them.

  Lenny Bruce

• The “what should be” never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no “what should be,” there is only what is.

  Lenny Bruce

• Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

  Lenny Bruce

• In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

  Lenny Bruce

• If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

  Lenny Bruce

• I’ll die young, but it’s like kissing God.

  Lenny Bruce

• I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.

  Lenny Bruce

• I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do.

  Lenny Bruce

• A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

  Lenny Bruce

• If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

  Lenny Bruce

  Topics in Religion

• Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

  Lenny Bruce

• The whole motivation for any performer is ‘Look at me, Ma.’

  Lenny Bruce

  Tags in Acting and the Theatre