Joseph Heller Quotes

Joseph Heller (23)

Birth:	1st May, 1923
Death:	12th December, 1999
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Novelist, Playwriter, Screenwriter

Related Authors

• Dule Hill
• Lukas Haas
• Luke Perry
• Josh Duhamel
• Mako
• Brad Renfro
• Russell Crowe
• Steve Coogan
• Maynard James Keenan
• Jason Ritter

Advertisement

Today's Anniversary - 22nd May

Births

• 1934 - Garry Wills
• 1859 - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 1808 - Gerard De Nerval
• 1950 - Bernie Taupin
• 1959 - Steven Morrissey

Deaths

• 1967 - Langston Hughes
• 1922 - Elizabeth David
• 1998 - John Derek
• 1760 - Baal Shem Tov
• 1540 - Francesco Guicciardini

• I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Life
• 

  Every writer I know has trouble writing.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Writing, Trouble

• Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Mediocrity

• I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Decisions

  Tags in Choice, Military

• The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he’s on.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Enemies

• But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Parents

• The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Giving

• I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.

  Joseph Heller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in War

• When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

  Joseph Heller

• There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to.

  Joseph Heller

• Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

  Joseph Heller

• Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war – for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I’d say we deserve ours more.

  Joseph Heller

• I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

  Joseph Heller

• I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

  Joseph Heller

• I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.

  Joseph Heller

• Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

  Joseph Heller

• He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

  Joseph Heller

• He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

  Joseph Heller

• We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

  Joseph Heller

• Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

  Joseph Heller