Dennis Miller Quotes

Dennis Miller (32)

Birth:	3rd November, 1953
Nationality:	American
Profession:	Actor, Comedian, Commentator, Political Consultant, Radio Personality, Talk Show Host, Television Presenter

About

Dennis Miller is an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, radio personality, and outspoken conservative. He is known for his critical assessments laced with pop culture references.

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Today's Anniversary - 24th May

Births

• 1522 - John Jewel
• 1972 - Danny Bautista
• 1873 - Leon Czolgosz
• 1965 - John Christopher Reilly Jr.
• 1938 - Tommy Chong

Deaths

• 1964 - Thomas Vernor Smith
• 1850 - Jane Porter
• 1543 - Nicolaus Copernicus
• 1987 - Hermione Gingold
• 1996 - Joseph Mitchell

• A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Humor

• A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Humor

  Tags in Police

• A new poll shows that Senator Kerry’s support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry’s appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Support

• Elected office holds more perks than Elvis’ nightstand.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Elected

• Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Marriage

• Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don’t they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Internet

• I lapsed into rude.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Rude

• I’m a comedian, for God’s sake. Viewers shouldn’t trust me. And you know what? They’re hip enough to know they shouldn’t trust me. I’m just doing stand-up comedy.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in God, Trust

• I’m like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Like

• If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn’t be in this problem.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Terrorism

• It’s ironic that in our culture everyone’s biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Time, Cultural

• Just put down 9/11… I think, on most things I’m liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I’m kind of conservative on.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Money

• Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don’t find these weapons of mass destruction. It’s enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Truth

  Tags in Destruction

• One man’s Voltaire is another man’s Screech.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Man

• Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Life, Money

  Tags in Marriage

• Now, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God’s way of letting you know that you’re having too good a time.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in God

  Tags in Time, Good

• Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation’s highways.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Job

  Tags in Nation

• The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Country, Death, Life

• President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in President, Presidential

• Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.

  Dennis Miller

  Topics in Uncategorized

  Tags in Police